Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
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From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you