why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on