Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper

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  (612): i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper http://tfl.nu/3dw5
  Replies (27) Good night (510) Bad night (3752) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.

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  (513): Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times. http://tfl.nu/rlhm
  Replies (21) Good night (541) Bad night (4126) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.

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  (419): doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars. http://tfl.nu/h8m5
  Replies (15) Good night (5881) Bad night (601)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford

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  (804): so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford http://tfl.nu/pdng
  Replies (108) Good night (4113) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.

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  (503): we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass. http://tfl.nu/xi9h
  Replies (63) Good night (20405) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???

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  (325): Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong??? http://tfl.nu/adeh
  Replies (13) Good night (984) Bad night (3246) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.

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  (540): You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened. http://tfl.nu/x4ak
  Replies (2) Good night (2485) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.

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  (615): When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick. http://tfl.nu/ip3w
  Replies (4) Good night (2208) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.

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  (513): Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight. http://tfl.nu/vjdx
  Replies (7) Good night (1764) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.

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  (607): She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine. http://tfl.nu/vfal
  Replies (5) Good night (1648) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.

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  (720): As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap. http://tfl.nu/ppqd
  Replies (4) Good night (1537) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or

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  (303): ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or http://tfl.nu/vwgc
  Replies (21) Good night (1619) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.

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  (724): Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores. http://tfl.nu/hule
  Replies (5) Good night (432) Bad night (1170) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.

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  (205): Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink. http://tfl.nu/5avj
  Replies (5) Good night (780) Bad night (350)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.

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  (517): Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win. http://tfl.nu/fots
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (122) Order T-Shirt

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