My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
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He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
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I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.