Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
