Nicole vs. Life
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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