I molested 6 butterflies tonight
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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