I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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