I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
