Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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