i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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