Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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