My hand turned me down
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
All the doctor said was why
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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