He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
