i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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