So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
