My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
