Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
