Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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