That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
