I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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