I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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