It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
