I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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