i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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