I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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