im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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