Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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