I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
