11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Drake has all the answers
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
