the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
