I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
