She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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