my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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