Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
