I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize