Midget sex pt 2 tonight
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
