Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
