Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So. Much. Porn.
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