We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
