idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
