I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
