Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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