I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
