Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
