We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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