I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He has the fingertips of a God
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
