I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
