something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
