I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
