i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
