I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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