My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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