i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize