I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My liver just broke up with me...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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