have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
