Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
