But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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