Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
