3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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