1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
