Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
